Trapped in the spider's Web again, I feel so helpless.

HOW???

how can i go forward when i
don't know
which way i'm facing?
how can i go forward when i
don't know which way to turn?
how can i go forward into
something
i'm not sure of? oh no, oh no.
how can i have feeling when i
don't know
if it's a feeling?
how can i feel something if i
just don't know how to feel?
how can i have feelings when
my feelings have always been
denied? oh no, oh no.
how can i give love when i
don't
know what it is i'm giving?
how can i give love when i
just don't know how to give?
how can i give love when love
is something
i ain't never had? oh no, oh no.
you know life can be long
and you got to be strong
and the world is so tough
sometimes i feel i've had
enough. oh no, oh no.
how can we go forward when i
don't know which way
we're facing?
how can we go forward when
we don't know which way to
turn?
how can we go forward into
something we're
not sure of? oh no, oh no.

Love’s, beyond my understanding...

When I think about love, I go blank... Young lads (which includes me) probably not only them, often fall in love. Attraction, it starts off from there. Then you believe you’re in love, a deeper form of attraction, when you explore inner qualities which seems to fascinate you. But how many times this attraction sprouts in our life… isn’t it perpetually happening, I guess. Is attraction not infatuation… if it is, then it’s suppose to last for a while and then fade away. A paradigm for this is a kid, when a kid gets a toy; it cloys up with the toy till the toy belongs to him. Then the attraction slowly dies off.

They say, love is blind, have we given this a thought?? ….its like a blot of ink on a clean paper. Everything about this spot seems good and perfect, when you look at it , all you can see is that prominent spot on a paper, bcoz the ink is so prominent, that you don’t look beyond or may be we don't want to look beyond bcoz secretly we hope its perfect and we don't want to look into reality. When do we look beyond is when it (love) doesn’t work in our favor or with time.So it is when this paper is exposed to the external environment such as water, it blots off, you realize its flaws and that's when we accept reality. So when the kid gets other toys its fascination for the first one fades away.And then we vaguely remember "that" love bcoz the stain that remains… and the whole phase of being in love with a person becomes hazy and you’re your hoping that well have a better experience this time. And Our heart opens up the next time again.

It’s a common adage that love happens only once in life... But what happens when that loved one is totally absent in your life. Don’t we fall in love again? I believe so. You do... bcoz everybody needs a partner to get through his/her life. And hence, fall in love again. Exceptions are always there, even to Newton s law.

You have certain qualities that you would like your partner to possess (external/internal). And that’s how attraction takes it place in this process of love. But hold on, don’t we look for external qualities before we realize the internal ones. So obviously you will get done one day or the other with external beauty... in real life, things are complex. And and then comes internal qualities, and we all change with time, our likes, preferences because of situations in our lives.

And then comes Marriage, a situation that you can’t escape in our culture. People get married, status qua people realize they are in love and get committed for life. The attraction phase has to end here, bcoz there s no secrets left and its a compromise again… then its commitment more than love, they say commitment comes with love, but there are phases in your life that we wished there wasn't commitment... (I wish I was a butterfly)...And then as life moves on, the commitment factor turns into an obligation. So what movies or songs, books such a mills and boons, isn't it a deception of happiness. It is, bcoz it just gives you a rosy picture of life… it’s a Can of worms!! We all(except of a few) follow this route of life called marriage… bcoz we need a partner in life to share our joys and sorrows, the degree of love is less than the degree of obligation, bcoz we don’t want have the guts to be alone…..all in all, love is a bed of unknowns. Factors that may keep you in this commitment or factors that u can’t deal with, so we just decide to take the easy way out…!

This is my take about this overly hyped word ‘love’.